I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?
- When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that.
- Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
- When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
- If you’re a momma bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could definitely deal with that.
- If you’re a momma bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have thick body hair and a very healthy appetite.
Yup, gonna be a bear! 😉
This one showed up in a humor post to the newsgroup rec.humor in 1997. It has been “going around” ever since as a “true story” in several variants. But that’s surely bogus. See snopes.com for a discussion.
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, final exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, “Why do airplanes fly?” on his final exams. His one and only final exam question is May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was:
“Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof.”
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
- If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
- Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, “…that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.” and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.”
This student received the only A.
Many people experience, from time to time, moments in which they not only believe in a profound truth, but have actually seen, felt and recognized it. And yet there still remains a common internal inhibition to realize such a truth in life, embracing all its challenging consequences.
So a lot of people ask:
“What gives me the courage to implement my recognized truth in life?”
Well – the courage comes from the truth itself. Your courage comes from the authentic experience of your truth. If you trust yourself and build on that truth, you witness thousands of strategic musings and paralyzing worries tumbling down into existential irrelevance. At first, this feels terrifying – irresponsible, reckless, even straight-out stupid. But then you realize that the truth will carry you. Truth perceived in your heart exudes a force so strong it cannot be prevailed by any of our societally established artificial incentives. Authenticity will take you anywhere, and further.
…therefore, let’s be courageous! Let’s live life according to our own (human, not robot 😉 ) systems! 😀