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Happy Holidays!

December 24, 2009

YAY, it’s Christmas again! Oooh weee!

And, quite mysteriously, Christmas happens to be my birthday, too. I was born what must have been intended as a slightly ironic representative reproduction of Jesus, yeah baby. That’s right, be scared. But let’s not mention it again, since there’s not enough news to tell yet: Time’s passing, and I’m still nowhere near where I wanna be (the publication of my own Holy Moly Bible OMG, that is, of course). So screw those bloody birthdays, may I just proceed, please? See you when I’m ready! I’ll be the one dressed as a Victoria’s Secret Angel, obviously.

But Christmas it is. I am a convinced advocate of the “secular version of Christmas”: Instead of going to church and praying, we feast and present each other with mostly extremely hedonistic, far-from-Christian gifts. And I suppose that’s what many of you do, too, only some might not like to think of it that way. But face it – Christmas went to the dogs long ago; we now have an overall worldwide consumption orgy. As faithful sheep in shepherd economy’s herd, let’s buy crazy crap and make up parodies of Christmas carols and Nativity stories. God, be our entertainer for tonight!

No reason to get offended – I’m a usually sophisticated and regularly reflective person, and I cherish human dignity as well as indulging in some shameless fun. It’s not a lapse of morals – on the contrary! Shouldn’t people, as far as possible, be encouraged to take on responsibility for their happiness, rather than be religiously trained like savage animals? Wouldn’t you, in fact, consider it an appalling insult to deny mankind’s maturity and declare humanity as unable to reason in its own right? Isn’t an individually well struggled-through, self-accomplished system of values much stronger and far more worthy than any of the brain-numbing sermons no one honestly internalizes since 2’000 years? I sincerely do believe a fulfilled lifestyle implies ethical purity and with it an open stance on life in its natural variety, including all religious and political orientations, social backgrounds, path choices, personal ups and downs – and yes, even my neighbor’s subliminally pornamental Christmas tree decoration. Trust me, he is a weird but alright guy, somewhere deep inside ;).

If you demand further esteemed absolution from the sin of enjoying your life while still being a good person, I fondly quote Joanne K. Rowling‘s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005):

Professor McGonagall: The house of Godric Gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for nearly ten centuries. I will not have you, in one night, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons!

Fred: [whispering to George] Try saying that five times fast.

George: [whispering] Babbling, bumbling band of baboons.

Fred: [whispering] Babbling, bumbling band of baboons.

Your turn! Your bad! Happy Holidays! (Happy Birthday to me, bboons :D)

PS: Were you ever forced to play a Jingle Bells/Happy Birthday mash-up in a cello/clarinet/guitar/piano/saxophone/terrible-singer sextet? Well…if you possibly can: avoid it :).

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