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A Hypothetical Interview

January 24, 2010

Gather around kiddies, it’s time for an interview! I found this fun application on Facebook, “Interview”, and decided my answers (or them stoopid questions?) were hilarious enough to deserve a blog post😀 – I’m not a conceited asshole at all, no way.

So here’s an excerpt of what my inner idiot would say if I ever set its sevenlegged weirdosity loose in public:

If you had to make a movie about your life, what would it be called?

“The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies”.

Describe your evil twin.

She’s a princess.

Are you happy to have single-handedly destroyed the earth?

Very. It’s the greatest achievement of mankind so far.

What would you do if no one ever found out?

I would switch the Pope‘s nightgown with my grandma’s.

Sex before marriage or after marriage?

OR??? That’s a dark thought.

Is there any circumstance where cheating is okay?

Sure. Being a cheetah.

Would you rather be stabbed by a knife or a sword?

A sword, please, Sir! So much more sophistication!

Do you sometimes wish you were a porn star?

Yes. No.

Biggest turnoff in the oppisite sex?

That would be the “oppisite” part, loser.

Do you currently like anyone?

LOL. No, I currently loathe the world. Sorry😉

What is the meaning of life?

Like I’d tell you, huh? Nice try!

Aliens have landed and selected you to visit their home planet. Do you go with them?

Absolutely. What other crazy chance do you get in life?

What is your favorite word?

Utopia.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It was a damn coincident, get over it!

Do you read Harry Potter books?

Sometimes – when in need of some moral support. (Harry Potter is the new and much improved Bible.)

What is your favorite place?

That’s usually the place most opposite from where I am at the moment. Well done!

If you could have one superhuman power, what would you choose?

The ability to spread insight.

What do you do on Fridays?

I brush my cat.

There you go, serious people. Good luck with your next job interview! (I know I have every reason to expect major nailingness on my part🙂.)

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